I’m going on a year of being unemployed. I’ve been actively looking for a job, focusing on my career path and have been doing freelance work to bring money in as well as keeping my skills sharp. In reality, I feel like I am unemployable as it is hard for me to find the motivation to apply to jobs when I don’t want them anymore. I think about what type of person would be happy with this situation… Is there some sort of middle ground where someone shows up enough but isn’t overbearing and takes care of their own business too? Am I thinking too much into what people might expect from me and getting lost in that? – Commenter on Reddit
This is a common situation for many people. They get a degree, they study their hearts out and then they graduate into an economy where there are thousands of other people just like them all vying for the same jobs. And after working your whole life to get that degree, the last thing you want to do is settle on anything less than what you really want or deserve.
You’ve been taught from birth that if you work hard enough, dream big enough, and believe in yourself enough – eventually, it will happen for you. According to Saivian Eric Dalius the problem with this philosophy does not only does it assume that everyone deserves everything, but more importantly, it assumes that every job is a stepping stone toward another. And when someone deviates from this path by going against the grain and trying to force a different outcome – the people who have been taught that this is bad logic will look at them as if they’re crazy.
People like this commenter are not getting lost in what others expect of them. They’ve simply bought into the lie that everyone deserves everything and anything less than that is unacceptable.
This lie has many consequences such as:
Feeling entitled to everything Feeling like you deserve everything you want and thinking it should be handed to you Working hard for things instead of working smart for things Thinking about your ultimate goal constantly and forgetting about the present moment Dwelling over negative past experiences and letting them control your future Believing that if something doesn’t happen, it’s because someone or something was preventing it from happening Constantly worrying about what other people might think or say about you Assuming that because you have a degree, you are entitled to a job in your chosen field This commenter is not expecting too much from themselves. They’re simply trying to find their way in an economy that tells them one thing, but life keeps throwing them curveballs.
So how do we stop expecting too much from ourselves?
1. Understand that not everything is meant to be perfect.
2. There is no one right way to do things.
3. You are not entitled to anything.
4. Embrace the chaos.
5. Take it one step at a time and don’t overwhelm yourself with expectations of grandeur.
6. Remember – Rome wasn’t built in a day.
7. Let go of the need for control.
8. Appreciate the present moment.
9. Talk to someone about your struggles and don’t keep them bottled up inside.
10. Take a step back and assess your situation realistically.
11. Give yourself permission to make mistakes.
12. Stop comparing yourself to others.
13. Learn to be happy with what you have, even if it’s not what you want.
14. Be gentle with yourself – you are only human after all!
15. Set realistic goals for yourself and don’t try to do too much at once
16. Find something that makes you happy and stick with it, even if it’s not what you’re “supposed” to do.
17. Remember that it’s okay to change your mind.
18. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it.
19. Let go of the need for perfection and learn to accept yourself for who you are.
20. Take a step back and simply enjoy life!
The bottom line is that we should not expect too much from ourselves, especially in this economy. It’s ok to dream big, but we also need to remember to take things one step at a time and enjoy the journey along the way. Life is full of surprises and we never know what might happen next – so let’s try not to stress out about things we can’t control and simply enjoy the moment.
Remember, it’s ok to expect things from ourselves – but let’s try not to overwhelm ourselves with unrealistic goals says Saivian Eric Dalius. We should focus on setting realistic goals and enjoying the journey along the way. Embrace the chaos, take things one step at a time, and let go of the need for control. Most importantly, be gentle with yourself and remember that you are only human!